I reckon I have been more "feisty" than "friendly" the past few days...maybe weeks? I received a daily email for women and each day they focus on some aspect of our lives that we could be focusing on or working on. 5:20 am-I'm early for boot camp and decide to check my emails while I wait. Today's Subject line reads "Friendly or Feisty". Now, I don't mean to rip them off. But it really got me thinking of I how I have been treating everyone lately. And I wasn't pleased with myself.
It made another good point...we don't tell off the bank teller who takes her sweet time when I clearly have somewhere to be, or the cashier at the grocery who rang up my coupons wrong, or the customer who calls twice because she hasn't received her order-just to realize she sent it to the wrong fax address. We don't tell them off because we think before we speak to strangers and realize it's not polite. So...why don't we think before we react at home? Maybe because we're more comfortable or more irritated? I'm going with more comfortable. And I reckon we don't deal with the other things that irritate us in the world and let it all come out at home.
Now here's a point they didn't touch on...but this is really the main issue for me. Because I can hold my tongue for a time and not be short with the kids when they're driving me up the wall or not give my husband the cold shoulder because "I have a lot going on". But, people, I'm not getting upset and ugly over big things-like lying or cheating or my house being taken away (those all seem like big things to me). I know I'm blessed to not have any of those issues in my life right now. I'm being ugly when the boys spill something (on purpose), or Big B is asking for something for the 15th time, or Little N is fussing for no apparent reason, or when my sweet hubby is needing some of my attention too. These are things that I normally have patience dealing with and even delight in because I know they are all for good reasons. I'll prove I know it- the boys spill things because they're boys and like messes, Big B is asking for something for the 15th time because he's 2 and he is under a lot of stress with preschool/mommy-going-to-work and learning how to function in this new big boy world. Little N is fussing because he's in the horrible "phase" we've already mentioned. And my sweet hubby needs my attention because we're a team and he loves me. These are things that usually please me-knowing my family loves me so much they want me around them all the time. But for some reason this is rubbing me the wrong way and I'm not letting my light show.
Wait...I've been here before. What have I stopped doing? What has always been my biggest struggle in my Christian walk? Can you guess it? Trusting God. Trusting Him that our finances are on a good path and will straighten out because I am trying to bring Glory to Him in all that I do, trusting Him to keep my children safe and fulfilled because they are His children first and foremost, trusting that He will make me a good mother and wife simply because I love Him and follow Him not because I'm running around with my head cut off trying to "do better". These are issues that keep cropping up in my life and then I start to feel like this. Then I start being feisty over the small things because I'm so worried over the bigger things I cannot control.
Todays Reckoning-I reckon I need to stop and spend time with the only One who can make me content with myself. In my searching I have never found anything to make me feel content like God. Yet, I always start looking again and always end up back on my knees because I'm worn out and frustrated. I reckon I'm going to go thank Him for all my blessings and find the joy in my small trials so that I can be friendly again. Won't my sweet hubby be happy?
