I reckon I have never truly appreciated the value of 3 measly hours until today. For weeks, months maybe, I have been longing to clean my house. My house is not (always) filthy. I will run the brush around the toilet, vaccuum the floors, or carry a basket of laundry to my bedroom when I find 10 minutes. But I'm talking about needing to CLEAN. Like back in the days when I was only a housewife, or only a mother of one child, heck! even a mother of one toddler and one immobile baby. The kind of cleaning where you put on your grubbies and really devote some time.
But lately...our house has been plagued with a sickness. A sickness only the mother of an 18 month old will know. Yes, I am referring to Separation Anxiety. This sickness deserves to be in capital letters. Maybe it's because he's the baby but my sweet Little N has got it bad! It's not just when I drop him off somewhere anymore...it's when I make dinner or fix my hair. Anytime I'm not holding him he screams as if he's in pain. I have gone through this before...but I am, of course, blaming it on myself. It can't be "just a phase" it has to be something wrong with my parenting. Something I'm not doing well enough...right? I'm probably scarring him for life because I am working part time and he has to stay with family who loves him to pieces. Or one of a hundred other things. And these hundred things may be adding to this "phase" but I am going to start accepting it for what it truly is...a horrible "phase". I would also like to take this time to blame my lack of postings lately on this "phase".
Okay...back to the point of this blog now that you know what we've been up to. Little N started school today. He's in the same Mother's Day Out program that Big B is in and, although he's been enrolled, could not start attending until he officially turned 18 months. So, today was the big first day of school for Little N. It is bad to say I have been waiting for this day? I have known he was going to love the school, love his teacher, and I have been praying it will help with the "phase". This morning he posed for pictures with his backpack on and I asked him all the way to school "Who is going to school today? Who is such a big boy? Who do I love so much?" And he answered, "Me. Me. Me". And the closer we get...the sadder I get. And he walks right into his classroom, picks up a toy, posing for a few more pictures, turns his back and doesn't even notice when we leave. And I'm a mess. I am so grateful that my darling husband was there or I would have been that mom crying in the lobby.
I think of my sweet baby all the way home. And the closer I get...the more excited I get. It has hit me that I now have 3 hours to CLEAN. No crying babies, no toys being taken out as soon as I put them up, and no guilt for not playing with the boys when I need to be cleaning. And best of all, I left a happy Little N who was excited for his first day of school. So, no guilt or worries there. It was wonderful. And the boys had wonderful days too.
They are napping soundly now, which is why I can blog and stalk everyone I know on Facebook. It's been too long- a lot has happened. I'm praising God for such an awesome morning that I didn't deserve and praying the afternoon is twice as much fun. Which it will be-because as nice as free time is, time with my boys is always better.
Today's Reckoning- I reckon I would never have thought I would be this happy to clean. And I probably would have thought anyone this excited to clean would have led a sad and pitiful life. But I reckon our priorities change a lot through our lives and I'm just glad I can be thankful for something as small as a clean house (and did I mention dinner is made?!) during a "phase" when I don't have a lot of time. And the best part...there's another school day on Thursday!
